Solo or Group Pilgrimage?
Going Solo
A pilgrimage is classically rewarding as a solo practitioner. You will be able to follow your own rhythms, to wake and sleep, rest and get going, at your own speed. Solo pilgrimage is efficient in terms of covering ground easily.
Sometimes going solo will help you enjoy more social interactions, as you will be always looking outward for interraction. There is obviously a increased personal risk as a solo pilgrim, as no-one has your back, but this is mitigated by the increased sense of self-responsibility you gain from walking alone. Not expecting someone else to do something means you’ll need to do it yourself. And judging risks for yourself means you won’t be encouraged to go beyond your own sense of safety.
I like how often I stop when making solo pilgrimage. If I want to wild-nap under a holly-tree, I do so. If I want to sing with sheep or do some handstands, it’s not going to impact anyone else’s progress.
But if you are walking solo, you will have to carry everything you need, even items that could otherwise be shared, like a cookpot, stove, water filter or tarp shelter. This can make solo pilgrimage a heavy game…
Pilgrimage in a Pair
Two is good fun. You co-create the journey, and reflect on what you find together. Expect quite intense engagement, as there is no-one else to talk to. Also expect to know each other quite well by the end. This is definitely best with someone you like and trust, someone reliable in the ways that count. You will be reflecting each other, so make sure you’re walking with someone whose reflection you actually want!
Walking in a pair can lead to ego clashes, if you have different ideas about which way to go, or how to get something done. Be sure you are equipped to communicate with each other. Don’t bottle annoyances up. Speak your mind. It may be good to agree responsibilities before setting out, such as who is navigating, how you will share cooking, any shared financial involvement, and who carries what shared kit.
Pilgrimage as a pair, you can always give each other a half mile’s break, and meet up at lunchtime or by a special tree etc. It is not required to bind yourselves to each other. Take short absences to maintain fondness.
For accommodation, if you are taking Hospitality as a pair you will be able to rent a B&B or hotel room for half the price! This makes staying somewhere pleasant much more affordable. If you are claiming Sanctuary, two is usually fine (but cosy) for church porch sleeping. For Coldharbouring, you have the option to share a tent/tarp, but this can be intensive. If you have separate sleep setups, perhaps vary how near to each other you sleep. And don’t compete over the best spots. If one sleep-spot is clearly the best, try to share it, or agree to take turns with first choice.
To solve disagreements, you can use your staff - throw it spinning up in the air, and agree that the deciion is made by the person to whom it points when fallen.
Three Pilgrims
Three is a band. You rove as a three. The group dynamic is louder, quicker and stronger. Three is the largest group I have walked in happily (though that might just be me). Three enjoy many of the advantages of two, but in terms of sharing equipment you may not be able to share a single tarp or cookpot anymore. Jobs also can be split more widely, but there is correspondingly more to do. You’ll have potentially more space to yourself in a group of three, as the other pair can engage themselves, leading to fewer annoyances.
In terms of the dynamic, three is political, as you’ll all have to accept majority decisions even if you disagree. Again, communication is key for any successful pilgrim band. As with a group of two, you can always have small holidays from each other.
Expect a more sociable time as a group of three. If you are singing together, you’ll enjoy more beautiful harmonies. If you are Coldharbouring together, you’ll make more noise, so try to remember not to become a disturbance.
Larger Groups
Large groups can be hard work to keep together. You need clearly defined roles of who is doing what. The larger the group, the greater the variance of pace between fastest and slowest. Keep an eye on the front and the back, and agree set meeting points along the way. In larger groups a buddy system can be useful, where each pilgrim is responsible for making sure one other particular person is not left behind.
Make sure everyone in the group can navigate if they get separated, that everyone has the route and a map. Keep each others’ phone numbers handy.
Large groups should orchestrate how they enter places, whether community venues or holy places. In sheer volume of numbers, you can have quite an impact. Avoid triggering community immune systems.
Groups need feedback systems. For example, if some people are talking when others want silence, you need ways to make this clear without causing reaction. Factor in regular occasions for group engagement. I find that calling a ‘Staff-meeting’ can be a good forum for this.
Pilgrimage with Family
It can be wonderfully satisfying to make pilgrimage in a family group. There is deep tradition in this.
You will need to adjust distance and pace to suit the slowest. And take many breaks, with much re-fuelling and fun.
Coldharbour might be harder to manage, and a good campsite may be your best bet, but that’s up to you.
It is very healthy to teach children that they possess the essential freedom to move over the earth like other animals do. What is important is that they have a good time, and you are able to hold the group well, without leaving anyone feeling unhappy, so that this introduction to freedom is not counter-productive. Feedback is always important, but it can be tough in a family. Regular staff meetings help, and letting everyone know they have the right to call them!
In terms of baggage, the strongest will need to carry for the weakest. Kit will have to be shared as much as possible, but it is also important that everyone does their part. Try to have jobs for everyone as you walk - like looking out for certain plants, navigating, finding kindling, or being in charge of snacks. The simplicity of pilgrimage does not mean there is not a lot to do. There is. But it’s all functional life stuff, the good old basics. So share these tasks about, and your team will gain cohesion.
